One Major Problem
by CastleFreak22
Summary: Castle walked away from Beckett after realizing that she was keeping a huge lie from him. Josh is in this story. I know Josh is long gone from the show, but this story was written when Josh was still with Beckett. Rated K , but a possibility to change later on.
1. Chapter 1

This story has been written for a while, back when Kate was dating Josh. I was going through my things and found it. I don't know if your going to like it, but here you go. Sorry for the grammar and the punctuation.

I do not own Castle or any of the characters.

Ch. 1

Castle left the precinct and never looked backed. The only warning they got was a text that castle sent to Ryan saying "hey I'm sorry I'm telling you this way, but you know I'll talk to you and Espo soon, but I just couldn't tell Beckett that I can't see her any more. It hurts to much to see her with Josh and knowing that she lied to me I can't help, but not to trust her anymore. So Ryan please do me a favor and let her know that I'm not coming back and not to call me. P.s. I hope you and Espo are still coming for poker night?"

Ryan read the text message and looked up to see if Beckett was around and noticed that instead of being at her desk she was in the break room fetching a cup of coffee to keep her awake. Beckett has been up for 48 hrs. and was fighting to keep her eyes open. Ryan then looks to Esposito and says "hey bro read this," and gives Esposito his phone. Esposito reads the message and looks back at Ryan "so do u think we should tell her?" Ryan asks with a look of anguish on his face. "Yeah you should, she needs to know that he's not coming back," Esposito says. "Well look at her she's so happy right now I don't want to destroy that." Ryan's says.

Esposito takes Ryan's phone out of his hand and walks into the break room and says, hey Beckett you should read this, Castle just sent this to Ryan?" Beckett turns around and looks at Esposito with a look and takes the phone, "this is not some stupid sexual joke is it?" Beckett asked, Esposito shakes his head slowly with a frown on his face and Beckett new it was serious. She looks down at the phone and reads and tears are starting to shed because she feels like she just lost everything she had in one little second by just reading a text message. She hurriedly gives the phone to Esposito and walks out of the break room and in to the girls' bathroom.

He walks out of the beak room and heads back to his desk and to give Ryan his cell back. "I think it's time to call Lanie" Ryan says.

"yeah already on it" Espo replies back. "Hey Lanie, it's Ryan; we have a problem you need to talk to Beckett," Ryan said and waiting for Lanies reply, "why what happened?" Ryan replied, "well Castle left and sent me a text, we let

Beckett read it and we knew it wouldn't go well, but we had to tell her, she just walked out. We don't know where she went?" "Ok I'll handle it." Lanie said and hung up.


	2. Chapter 2

It took some time before Lanie was actually able to make it to be able to find Beckett and talk to her. When Lanie stepped of the elevator she whet straight towards the boys desk. "Hey, so do you two know if she actually left or is she hiding somewhere around here?" Lanie asked. Ryan and Esposito looked at each other and they turned to Lanie. Ryan was the first to speak, we know she didn't leave, but we have no idea where she could have gone." Lanie looked at the boys as if they were pointless. Lanie walked off with an idea of where her best friend could be. The few seconds it took Lanie to actually walk to the bathroom to find her friend felt like forever to her. Lanie couldn't even imagine what Kate was going through right now. The first thing that poped into Lanies head was Josh. Josh has always given her problems, but hardheaded Kate didn't do anything about it.

When Lanie made it to the bathroom, she tried to open the door, but it didn't budge. She knoked, but no answer came, so she knocked again and called out to Kate, "Kate, it's me, Lanie, open up sweetie. The boys called me. Kate, open up let me help." It felt like eternity, but the door opened to red, blotchy eyed swollen cheeks Kate Beckett. "Oh sweetie" Lanie said when she first saw Kate. Lanie brought Kate into a hug to at least try to comfort her, but Lanie knew that was not going to happen because she has never once seen Kate this broken up before. Kate moved aside to let Lanie enter into the bathroom and then locked the door again to make sure no one would enter. Kate was already embarrassed enough to let her best friend see her like this. After Kate locked the door she went back to her spot that she had claimed, the bathroom floor. Lanie looked down at her and said, "sweetie I love you, but that floor is not sanitary." Kate looked up with the most depressing look she has ever seen from anyone. Lanie knew it was not the time to lecture her on how disgusting the bathroom floor is.

Lanie then squatted down to become at most eye length with her. Lane looked into Kates eyes and saw hurt and pain. "Kate, talk to me, what happen. What did Josh do this time?" Lanie asked. All of a sudden tears started to poor down her face. "It wasen't Josh, Lanie, it was Castle". Out of what Kate just said all Lanie understood was 'not Josh'. Thats when Lanie understood that if it wasn't Josh then the only person that could hurt her this much and this bad was Richard Castle. Lanie knew her best friend and knew how much she actually cared about Castle. They have sat for hours upon hours just talking about Castle. Lanie telling Kate that if she really feels this way about Castle then why not break up with Josh and tell him. Kates same old response every time was she couldn't risk getting her heart broken by the one man who knows her so well and could destroy her if they ever ended. Most of the time Lanie really wanted to smack her best friend, but she knew Kate was a brick wall that didn't want to break. Lanie told her constantly to go be with Castle, but of course she never would listen. "Sweetie, what happened to Castle? Did you two get in a fight?" Lanie was trying to get Kate to open up. "He left...he left Lanie and couldn't even tell me good bye. He didn't even tell me why. He sent a text to Ryan's phone. He doesn't trust me anymore. He said I lied to him, but I don't know what I lied about. He loves me Lanie... he said it hurts to much for him to be around me because I'm with Josh." Kate blurted out all in one breathe and was breathing heavy afterwards. Lanie was shocked she actually understood evry word.

"Ok, let's take this slow sweetie." Lanie said. "So Caslte left because you lied to him and you don't know what you lied to him about." Lanie asked Kate. Kate responded with a "yes". " And he said he couldn't work with you anymore because your with Josh and it hurts him too much to see that." Lanie asked another question. "Yes" Kate responded again. Lanie had a shocked expression of her face at this point. "Girl, what the hell are you sitting here for drowning in your own tears? Go talk to him, you love him he loves you. Stop moping around. You want to be with him and he wants to be with you." Lanie said. Kate looked up with a horrid face, "Lanie! I'm with Josh I can't be with Castle." Lanie couldn't believe what she was hearing, her best friend knew, that Castle, her one and done was in love with her too and she still didn't want to face it.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi, everyone I know it's been a while since I last posted, but I have been super busy with my classes and getting ready for nursing school. I have really no time for anything. So, I wrote this real quick, so you guys can have a new chapter. Sorry for the errors I tried to fix them the best I could.

I don't own any of the characters'!

Previously…..

"Ok, let's take this slow sweetie." Lanie said. "So Castle left because you lied to him and you don't know what you lied to him about." Lanie asked Kate. Kate responded with a "yes". "And he said he couldn't work with you anymore because you're with Josh and it hurts him too much to see that." Lanie asked another question. "Yes" Kate responded again. Lanie had a shocked expression on her face at this point. "Girl, what the hell are you sitting here for drowning in your own tears? Go talk to him, you love him he loves you. Stop moping around. You want to be with him and he wants to be with you." Lanie said. Kate looked up with a horrid face, "Lanie! I'm with Josh I can't be with Castle." Lanie couldn't believe what she was hearing, her best friend knew, that Castle, her one and done was in love with her too and she still didn't want to face it.

Kate was so upset; she didn't even know she could ever fill like this again. She hasn't felt like this since her mom had died. She feels like she drowning and can't reach the top to get air. The day when her world crashed, the last thing Kate Beckett said to her mother were the words ' I love you', and when the death of her mom occurred she promised herself she would never say those words to anyone or feel that way about anyone ever again. Kate didn't want to risk her heart and then get it crushed again. She told herself over and over that if she ever felt pain like that again then she wouldn't survive. As time passed in her own little world she finally felt a sharp pain and realized Lanie just hit her. "Lanie, what the hell" Kate said, still heart broken. "You have been sitting there for almost five minutes and you haven't said a single word. Where did you go?" Lanie asked, a little curiously. Kate looked down away from Lanie's face to avoid eye contact with her. Kate knew Lanie was tough, but at this point, Kate didn't want to talk anyone anymore, and she just wanted to be alone, in her room, under her covers, in the silence of her own home. "Kate!" Lanie yelled, to get Kate's attention. "I'm sorry Lanie, I just can't do this, and I don't want to talk to you." Kate said, got up off the bathroom floor and walked out and went straight to the elevator without telling anyone she was leaving.

On the way down the elevator Kate was wiping her eyes the best she could and trying to keep herself from making new tears. As she stepped off the elevator her phone went off and seen a text message from Lanie saying, 'you can't run away from this, you have to face it.' As Kate got in her car, she broke down again. She couldn't believe it, she kept asking herself 'why,' why did she have to fall for a guy who was a complete man child. How could she fall for any guy when she promised herself she wouldn't? Why did she have to be such a hypocrite? As Kate drove off to her apartment, her phone stated to ring. She looked down to see who it is and saw Josh. 'Great,' she thought, Kate really didn't feel like talking to Josh, especially, when she knew he was going to ask her why she had been crying. She was still sniffling and tears were still running down her face. Kate decided to answer the phone though because she knew that if she didn't answer it, then Josh would accuse her of ignoring him. She didn't know why he did that, she knew, he knew, that she was busy when she didn't answer, but he always got an attitude anyway.

"Beckett," she said into the phone, waiting for him to speak. "Hey, are you free, can you talk right now?" Josh asked. Kate wanted to hurry up and get off the phone so she just replied "yeah" so she could get the conversation over with. "Ok, good, so I just wanted to know if you are you free tonight, I want to talk to you about something and it's very important?" Josh asked hoping she would say 'yes.' Kate was about to say 'no' because she really wanted to be by herself and not deal with anyone else. On top of it though, she also wondered what was so important so she said "yes." While Kate was waiting for his response she couldn't stop herself, she let out a sniffle and that's when Josh caught her. "Kate, what's wrong, are you crying?" Josh asked, but Kate did the first thing that came to her mind and said "I have to go, bye Josh," and hung up the phone before she could get a response.

When Kate walked into her apartment, she went straight to her bed room and crawled under her covers. She felt like the one person who knew her had just up and left and abandoned her. She kept thinking why, what was that lie he was talking about she really had no clue why wouldn't he just confront her to let her know what she did so she can apologize, and so they can get on with their lives. But, no he had to be a coward and run away. Isn't she supposed to be the one that runs? Isn't she the one that hides and burrows deep down in a hole to hide her deepest most personal feelings? Kate thoughts keep whirling around in her head; she can't get a clear thought. So many things are going through her head and eventually she falls asleep.

A few hours later….

Kate wakes up to knocking on the door and burrows her head deeper into her pillow. She doesn't want to deal with anyone. "Ugh, not now," she says with a growl. Kate was not pleased at all that she was woken up; it was the only time that she wasn't actually thinking about Castle. When the knocking continued she got up and stumped to the door. "What!" came an angry voice from Kate, not too pleased that she had to get up and answer that damn door. When the door was fully open she saw Josh and panicked just a little. "Crap, Josh, I forgot you wanted to talk to me, I'm so sorry, I fell asleep," Kate said, somewhat embarrassed that she forgot that her own boyfriend was coming over to talk to her. "Hey, it's ok, I know how busy you are" Josh tried to calm her down.

After Kate's sudden panic rush was controlled Josh gave a sweet soft smile towards her direction and started to speak again. "So, what I wanted to talk about earlier, are you still up for it," Josh asked a little hesitate because he was really hoping to ask her tonight. Kate then responded with a slight smile and a "yeah." Josh started walking towards her couch and Kate followed right behind her and she sat down a few inches away from him on the couch. "So," Josh spoke, and then paused a moment then started up again, "since today is our one year anniversary I wanted to do something really special tonight." Kate's face went blank at that second when she herd Josh say 'one year anniversary'. How could she possibly forget about that, she never had forgotten things of that importance? What was wrong with her, she questioned herself?

In that moment Castle popped into her head. She wasn't thinking about him until now. Josh was talking to her, but she couldn't make herself listen. She just pretended and said 'yeah' every couple of words. Kate was such a bad girlfriend, especially, since it was their anniversary and she wasn't even listening to Josh. All of a sudden Josh got down on one knee and Kate went into utter shock. She didn't know what to do, was he actually proposing to her? He couldn't be maybe he just dropped something she thought. When Josh started talking and saying, 'how much he loved her, and how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and start a family' she couldn't help, but think 'OMG he did, he just proposed.' She couldn't say a word she was speechless. How was she supposed to say 'yes' to a guy that she liked a lot, but didn't love? That was her problem, she couldn't, she couldn't say 'yes' because she didn't love him and she was definitely not ready for a big commitment like that; nowhere near close. Especially, since while she was thinking 'no' in her head, she was thinking about the one person that crushed everything she had known, including her future.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi, everyone I know it's been a while since I last posted, but I have been super busy with my classes and getting ready for nursing school. I have really no time for anything. So, I wrote this real quick, so you guys can have a new chapter. Sorry for the errors I tried to fix them the best I could. Oh sorry about the format if it's hard to read. I typed it on word and then posted it. Im still trying to figure out how this all works.

I don't own any of the characters'!

"No," Kate came out and said as an outburst and Josh kind of flinched back a little at her response. "No?" Josh asked. "No, Josh I can't marry you. I like you a lot, but I don't love you, not enough for me to say 'yes' and become your wife," Kate said with a hurt face, knowing she was destroying the man right in front of her. Josh knew what was going on in her head. He knew there was only one person that could destroy someone as strong as Kate (he doesn't know about her mother). "It's Castle, isn't it?" Josh asked. "You're in love with him?" Josh asked another question, knowing the answer her was going to get.

"No!" Kate spat out in a harsh tone because Josh was accusing her of wanting another guy instead of him. She felt bad at that moment because she knew she just lied to his face. "Fine," Kate put her head down and looked at her hands that were playing with the pen she happened to pick up in the process of sitting on the couch and getting nervous. "Yes, Josh. Yes, I'm in love with Castle, but that doesn't mean that I don't want you. I'm with you, not Castle; that has to count for something?" She was asking in such a sincere voice. Josh was getting defensive now and was angry that Kate could actually do this to him. "No, Kate" he was yelling at this point "it doesn't count for anything. We've been together for a year and you couldn't even fall in love with me, but you can end up falling for your best friend. Jeez Kate, you should have broken up with me a long time ago if you knew you would never love me; instead of dragging me around this whole time!"

Josh was pacing and Kate could see the anger coming off of him. She has never seen him this angry with her. She was getting somewhat scared to even approach him. Kate got up off the couch to try to get him to look at her, but every time she tried he would look somewhere else. "Josh, stop this look at me!" came a desperate voice from Kate. Josh didn't stopped, but happened to tense up more in the process. "Kate, I'm done, we're over." Josh said and started walking out of her apartment before Kate could even get her brain around everything that had just happened.

Kate sat on the couch about to break down for the second time that day, but she couldn't cry. She tried, but no tears fell. She didn't feel the need to cry, not over Josh anyway. This was the time she needed Castle. Her person she could talk to and confide in and tell everything that happened. Usually, Castle would be the person telling her 'not to worry about it and that she could do better.' She needed him, needed him by her side telling her 'she could do better.' He's not though; Castle not around for her anymore and just thinking that makes a tear slide down her cheek. What was she going to do, she loved Lanie, she really did and could tell her most things, but things like this she wanted someone who didn't judge her in these situations. Even though Lanie's voice didn't sound like she was judging her she knew deep down that Lanie was. So, calling Lanie was an out because she knew after her morning conversation that she had with her she would tell her the same things again. 'To call Castle and tell him what she felt.' 'Yeah, I thought that's never going to happen.' Kate's pride was always getting involved in her life, and pride being one of the seven deadly sins was only making her life a living hell because she was never backing down. She wasn't going to call Castle and be the one to break first. Kate thought that if Castle loved her as much as he said he did then he would come back into to her life.

Boy she was wrong. Kate found out the hard way that her life was never going to go the way she wanted. Days has come and gone and Castle never contacted her. Not once, has she gotten a call a text message or even a letter. She would take a letter at this moment in time. Kate was getting seriously desperate. After a few days of going to work and everyone staring at her and asking if she's ok and if she needs anything she stopped going. Kate was getting tired of their pity, she didn't need theirs when she had her own to deal with. So, while staying at home, Kate just laid on her couch and just stared at the ceiling. She didn't move or eat; she was losing weight and didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore. She just wanted to talk to Castle and see how he was. She wanted him around her to be in her life. Kate stopped communicating with everyone Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, even her Dad and that's what scared everyone. Kate would always talk to her dad no matter what the situation was, she probably wouldn't tell him the whole story but she would talk to him about something, about anything.

Lanie tried to contact her, but Kate didn't answer when she called and didn't answer the door when she knocked. It went the same for the boys too. She wasn't up for people telling her 'living this way was bad.' Kate was happy being by herself, and no one bothering her.

Two weeks had gone by and not one word from Kate. Lanie tried calling Castle to see if there was anything he could do even if it was just talking to her just to get her out of her funk, but Castle said, 'no' too. Lanie was screwed; she was at the cross hairs here. Her best friend was suffering and didn't want anything from her or the boys. Kate wanted the only person she couldn't have, the one person who wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Castle was being stubborn too, and Lanie really just wanted to turn her back on the both of them because they were both a pain in her ass. Lanie was getting tired of no sleep and worrying about Kate. Lanie knew Kate was not eating, that she was starving herself and was scared that if she didn't watch herself that she was going to end up in the hospital.

Another week had passed, and Lanie had finally gotten Kate to open her door by lying to her. Lanie had told Kate that Castle was with her and there to talk to her because everyone was getting tired of her escapade. When Kate opened the door and realized that Castle was not there she immediately tried to close the door, but she was too weak and Lanie was stronger than her. Lanie gave Kate a once over look and started complaining how bad she looked. "Kate, OMG, what is wrong with you, your dehydrated, malnourished. Sweetie, you need to eat something before you faint." Lanie said, worried about her friend. Kate responded with "Lanie, I'm not in the mood to deal with you, can you go please?"

Lanie didn't want to fight with Kate, but if she had to she would. "I'm not leaving Kate, have you seen yourself? You look horrible; somebody obviously needs to be taken care of you. You look terrible" Lanie said in a harsh caring tone. Kate was beginning to become infuriated with Lanie, "I don't care what I look like Lanie it's not like I have anybody to impress so just drop it and LEAVE…ME….ALONE!" Kate screamed at Lanie.


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, so since so many of you like this story I came up with a quick chapter so here you go. Now I have to go back to my HW. Did the best I could with grammar and punctuation with the short amount of time I had to write this, so, sorry if it bothers you. Oh, and thanks to all the comments some of you left, they made me laugh!

I do not own any of the characters, too bad though I wish I did!

Previously…

Lanie didn't want to fight with Kate, but if she had to she would. "I'm not leaving Kate, have you seen yourself? You look horrible; somebody obviously needs to be taken care of you. You look terrible" Lanie said in a harsh caring tone. Kate was beginning to become infuriated with Lanie, "I don't care what I look like Lanie it's not like I have anybody to impress so just drop it and LEAVE…ME….ALONE!" Kate screamed at Lanie.

At that moment silence surrounded the room and Lanie stood there just staring at Kate. Kate was fuming, she told Lanie many times before she wanted to be alone. Why can't any one just listen to her? Kate just wanted to drown in her sorrows by herself with no one around. Finally, Lanie took a deep breathe in looked at her and said, "fine if you want to end up starving yourself to death (she meant it literally) then go ahead Kate. We can't keep telling you to take care of yourself if don't want to listen to us, your just wasting our breathe." Kate turned away and started walking to her bed room, but before she walked in she came to a sudden complete stop, turned around and told Lanie flat out, "I never asked or wanted anyone's advice, now leave and lock the door on your way out." Kate then turned back around and walked straight into her bed room and slammed the door.

When Lanie herd the door slam she knew she wasn't getting through to Kate tonight, especially, if she was being a rude inconsiderate brat who didn't even seem to care about herself to even take a shower. It had been weeks and Kate was starting to smell. When Lanie walked into Kate's apartment she smelled the stench right off. Lanie knew she had to intervene somehow, but she didn't have a clue what she was going to do yet. She didn't want to stay in that apartment if the smell wasn't going to get any better. So, Lanie left and decided she would come back when she actually had a plan that she knew would work.

Before all this had actually gotten out of hand, Kate tried to call Castle, but he didn't answer and let it go to voice mail. Castle would just end up deleting all the messages she left without even listening to them. He didn't care what she had to say, he could even care less about her at this point. Castle was heartbroken and couldn't even bring himself to talk to his mother, and his mother was the person he went to when he couldn't talk to Kate. This was one of those times, but Castle just didn't feel the need anymore. He wasn't going to bother his mother, and ask her for advice to fix the problem that blew up he and Kate's relationship when Kate didn't even care enough to fix it herself. After so many calls, and so many voice mails Castle had gotten tired of it an answered his phone, "what Kate, what do you want? Stop calling me; I want nothing to do you with you. Didn't you catch the hint the first 30 times you called me and I didn't answer. I don't want to talk to you; I don't want anything to do with you anymore. We're not friends anymore so just stop, ok, stop calling me." Castle ended the call without Kate even being able to get a word out of her mouth. After Castle hung up the phone a shy tear escaped down his face that he couldn't help. He really missed her. Castle wasn't just in love with her, she was his best friend, and the one person he could turn to until that lie that he discovered she had been keeping. A lie that had destroyed everything that their friendship came to be, a lie, that Kate couldn't even bring herself to tell him, and that ruined the most important thing that their friendship had evolved around.

Back to present time, Kate was lying in her bed, ignoring all the outside side noises until a bird came and flew up to her window. The bird was singing beautifully, but it was driving Kate nuts in her anger-depressed state. She found something lying close enough to her and through it at her window to shut the bird up. The bird flew away, and Kate had ended up with a cracked window. She looked up and gave a slight smile that she had gotten her silence back.

After Lanie left Kate's, she went back to the morgue; she did her best thinking in there. She sat at her desk, and then paced around hoping her neurons in her brain would start firing to get her thinking more than she was. All the ideas that she was coming up with so far had totally sucked and there was absolutely no way that Kate Beckett would ever fall for it. In the process of thinking she came up with a few good ideas, but she knew that once she gave Kate an ultimatum she would turn it down really fast. As she was getting rid of sucky ideas the boys came walking into the morgue. "Hey Lanie, got anything out of Becket yet." Ryan asked curious hoping that Lanie had gotten through to her. Lanie looked down and shook her head 'no.' "Boys, it looks like we're going to have to have an intervention." Lanie said in confidence. They had to do something because Kate was slowly running herself six feet into the ground.

The boys turned toward each other with a look of worry in their face. What did Lanie have up her sleeve this time? Lanie was always coming up with the craziest ways to fix things. The boys looked back at Lanie with a slight nervous look on their faces. "What's your plan Lanie and I hope it is better than the last one you kept giving her considering the fact we ended up here?" Ryan asked. Lanie looked both the boys in the eyes because she knew this plan was going to work. It had to work because if it didn't then they were all screwed and they probably wouldn't see Kate ever again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Everyone thanks for reading. I hope you like this chapter. I will admit it was complicated for me to write this, so I hope I didn't disappoint any of you. Again, sorry for any errors. Oh this story is not following the lines that it has happened on Castle just in case any of you are wondering. Thank you for the reviews!**

**I don't own any of the characters.**

Previously….

The boys turned toward each other with a look of worry in their face. What did Lanie have up her sleeve this time? Lanie was always coming up with the craziest ways to fix things. The boys looked back at Lanie with a slight nervous look on their faces. "What's your plan Lanie and I hope it is better than the last one you kept giving her considering the fact we ended up here?" Ryan asked. Lanie looked both the boys in the eyes because she knew this plan was going to work. It had to work because if it didn't then they were all screwed and they probably wouldn't see Kate ever again.

Silence had swept over the morgue and the boys were staring at Lanie, waiting for her to explain the so called 'brilliant' plan she came up with; at least they hoped her plan was brilliant because they really needed it. "Ok," Lanie finally said, "we have to involve Castle, so we need to go get him before we go over to Kate's." Esposito looked at Lanie with a somewhat confused expression, "ugh, Lanie, Castle wants nothing to do with her. What's your plan to get him to actually come with us?" "We lie," Lanie simply stated. "You actually think he's going to fall for it?" Ryan asked. "Well up to the point when we get him in front of Kate's building, yeah, and that's where you two come in. If he tries to leave, you're going to have to stop him." Lanie answered Ryan. "So, how are you making this plan work exactly?" Esposito asked curiously." "Well, all we have to do is just give her what she wants, she wants Castle, and so we give her Castle." Lanie simply answered.

Ryan turned towards Esposito and asked, "this is going to blow up in our faces, isn't it?" "Probably, Bro, but we have to do something and Lanie's the only one that seemed to come up with some kind of dignified plan," Esposito said to Ryan. Ryan looked at Lanie to confirm his confidence in her because Esposito was right; she was the only one that could come up with a plan at least a halfcocked one at that.

"So when does this plan actually come into play?" Esposito asked, being as confident as he could be. Lanie took a few seconds to think about it and to formulate a response. "We need to wait a few days to let her cool down. I just left her and she wasn't too happy with me, but we can't wait too long. She's not taking care of herself, and if we don't intervene something bad is going to happen, and it's not going to be good," Lanie told the boys.

"Alright sounds, good to me. So, how about Ryan and I grab Castle, and will end up meeting you at her place around noon on Friday?" Esposito asked Lanie. "Yeah, alright, probably better that way anyway. If I show up there, he's going to know something's up." "Good, everything is set. I have to leave now, I told Jenny I'd be home right after shift, so I better go, see you guys later," Ryan said while walking out of the morgue. "Bye" Lanie and Esposito both said in unison. "I better go to, I don't want to bother you anymore than Ryan and I have already," Esposito said and he turned away and left.

Esposito didn't want to stay in the morgue with Lanie by himself, especially, after their big fight, 'at least they didn't run away from each other like Castle and Beckett,' he thought, while walking down the corridor to get on the elevator.

Lanie stood in the morgue by herself, she had no bodies to dissect because she hasn't had a case in the last day or so, so she decided to go home to relax. When she got home she took a shower and came to sit out on her couch. Her cell phone was lying on the side table where she last left it when she walked into her apartment an hour earlier. She kept staring at it, she wanted to call Kate to see if she would answer, but she was pretty sure that Kate would just ignore the calls like she had been doing. She knew Kate being by herself at this time was bad, and now her guilty conscience was coming back to bite her in the ass. 'Dammit,' Lanie thought as she reached over to the side of her couch and grabbed her phone off the side table. Lanie unlocked her phone and went through her phone book to find Kate's number and pressed send. She was right, she didn't answer, it didn't even ring, and it went straight to voice mail.

Lanie wasn't going to call her again there was no point when she wasn't going to answer. She put her phone down and went to the kitchen to get a glass of wine to help her relax. When she got back to her couch, she seen she had a missed call. She picked up her phone and noticed she did recognize the number, but whoever it was left a voice mail. Lanie put the glass of wine down and pressed play to hear what the unknown caller had to say. "Lanie, hi, this is Ms. Jones, Kate's next door neighbor. You're probably wondering how I got your number, but Kate gave it to me just in case there was some sort of problem, but I just wanted to call and let you know that I'm a little worried about her. I haven't seen her in weeks and now there are strange noises coming from her place. It sounds like glass is breaking, and…" the voice stopped talking on the other end of the line and Lanie heard a loud noise coming from the other end, "that noise was the loudest I've herd yet. Now I don't know what's going on, but I'm really scared for her. I think she really needs to be check on. Well I have to go, I was just letting you know," the call ended and Lanie just sat there in complete utter silence. That noise she herd it wasn't normal, she has never known for Kate's neighbors to even complain about her. Just by the noise that she herd she was definitely scared for Kate now. Lanie suddenly called Esposito and Ryan, and told them 'that the plan is on NOW! Get Castle as fast as possible and get over to Kate's now, that something was wrong.'

**This chapter is not my best work. It took me forever to write and I feel like it could have been better, but this is one of the hardest chapters I have written so far. I really do hope all you reading like it!**


	7. Chapter 7

**To all you out there still reading I thank you! To all you out there that have left comments I thank you also. You are all great readers and I thank every single one of you. *** I am so terribly sorry for not updating sooner. I have been so busy with school that it was hard for me to find time to write another chapter. I hope you all like this chapter. Also sorry for the errors. I'm still really busy with school work, so this was written very fast.**

**** If any of the medical information is wrong I'm sorry for that also**.

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Lanie was already standing in front of Kate's building when she seen the boys walk up with an aggravated Castle in tow. Castle did not look too pleased to be taken out of his loft without so much of a word of where the boys were taking him. Castle looked up at the building they were standing in front of and said "No" and started walking off. Lanie ran up to him and stopped in front of him to block his pathway, "you can't leave we need you up there with us. She only wants you, she needs to see you. Don't you get it; she's this way because of you. She's in trouble and we need to help her." Lanie said, in a worrisome voice to keep Castle there.

Castle was not too pleased with staying; he still wanted nothing to do with Kate. "No, Lanie, don't you get it," he practical emphasizes it for her, "how many times do I have to tell you or Ryan and Espo that I don't want to be around her. So yes, Lanie, I'm leaving." Castle says stepping around her and picking up his pace as he walks down the street. But, before he even gets close to stepping off the sidewalk Lanie has her hand wraped around his bicep as tight as she could get it, to get him to stop. Castle turned around with a pissed off face. "Let me go," Castle says angrily. Now, Lanie, is mad, she tried being nice, she didn't want to have to go off on him, but now, she has lost her patience and she is not going to let her best friend suffer anymore.

She stared to pull him towards Kate's door. She was willing to fight him if she had to. She wasn't playing with his nonsense anymore. "Get you butt in that door right now," Lanie practically yelled at Castle. The boys were holding the door open as Lanie almost pushed him through the door because he was taking too long and they didn't have till Christmas. As they stepped through the elevator, silence fell and you could have heard a pin drop. Castle let out a loud breathe and the boys were just staring at him like they felt sorry for him, especially since he had to deal with a pissed off Lanie.

When the elevator dinged that was their queue that they had reached their destination they all stepped off one by one. The boys were first and went straight toward Kate's door. Lanie made sure to stay behind Castle just in case he decided to escape. Stepping up to the door the boys knocked, but no sound came from the other side. Silence creped over everyone and then a sound of a door opening hit their ears.

They all turned toward the noise and found it was Kate's neighbor. She started walking down the silent hall and introduced herself, "hi, are you Lanie? Are you the one I talked to earlier? I'm Ms. Jones. I'm glad you were able to come so quick, do you have a key to get in because I have one if you don't." She was holding out her hand with the key lying flat. Lanie never even got a chance to answer any of her questions until she finished talking, she talked nonstop. "Yes, hi, I am Lanie and thank you." Lanie moved toward the elderly woman and took the key from her hand. The elderly woman smiled and said, "I hope she's alright," and turned around and walked back to her apartment closing the door gently.

They all looked at each other like it was the creepiest thing ever that had just happened, but they didn't waste any time. Lanie put the key in the lock and turned it and opened the door. Stepping in they were all hit with a musky smell, but didn't pay too much attention to it because they were there for Kate and Kate needed them. Lanie made Castle go first, she had to push him slightly because he didn't want to move. As they were walking through Kate's apartment, Lanie screamed out, "Kate, sweetie where are you?" No response came. So Lanie repeated her question, still no answer. Lanie was still walking with Castle directly in front of her. The boys stayed by the front door because they didn't feel comfortable walking through their bosses apartment without her right there.

Lanie made Castle walk down a darken hall way and turn into her bed room. The only light visible was the bathroom and water was running, which seemed a little weird to Lanie because Kate was practically bed bound. She had to fight with her earlier to actually move out of her room to go to the kitchen to get her to eat and that didn't even work. Walking toward the bathroom, Castle slowly opened the door and peaks his head inside and froze. The first thing he saw was blood, there was blood everywhere. On the floors the walls, on the sink, he didn't know what to do. Then he spotted glass, broken glass, he noticed it came from the vanity mirror. He opened the door quite quickly, his heart pacing really fast, his pulse was well above normal, at least it felt that way to him.

As he opened the door the rest of the way, a creaking noise was heard and his eyes came upon a figure in the shower. "Lanie," Castle screamed as he ran the rest of the way into the bathroom and to the shower stall and opened the door to see Kate sitting in the shower still in her clothes soaking wet. Her clothes were bloody and Castle could see cuts everywhere on her body. Her face, arms, legs, and neck were bleeding profusely. She was just lying there as Lanie came running up behind Castle. When Lanie saw Kate, she pushed Castle out of the way and yelled at him to call an ambulance."

Castle listened immediately and dialed '911.' Lanie was doing everything possible to stop the bleeding, the cuts on Kate's body were really deep and she was wondering how the hell she did this to herself. The blood kept coming and there was nothing for Lanie to do. She just hoped the ambulance got their in time. Lanie was scared of how much blood she has actually lost already and added with her weakness was not a good combination. Castle just stood there staring at Kate. She was semiconscious and barely aware of her surroundings.

The water was turned off a while ago and Lanie was still doing her best to stop the bleeding. Lanie was yelling at Castle to move and do something when the boys came running in wondering what was going on when they saw Kate. "What the hell happened," Espo asked? "We….We.. don't know," it took time for Castle to get the words out. He was so scared, yeah, he was mad at Kate, but he did not want to see her hurt. Of course he still loved her and the only thing running through his brain right now was Kate. Kate had to be ok, she couldn't bleed to death on him, she just couldn't. At this point he didn't care what the problem was between him and Kate he just wanted her, needed her to be OK.

He finally moved toward Kate and got in the shower stall with her and bent down. "Kate," he got out before Kate slowly picked her hand up as far as she could have gotten it, which wasn't very far. She placed her hand on his knee and he heard her say, "Caaastle," very slowly like she was fading and it was hard for her to breathe. Then moments later, "I'm… so.. sorry," came out of Kate mouth, then she fell into the dark. Next thing they herd was a loud beating at the door and Ryan was already running towards the door and came back into the bathroom with two paramedics. Lanie moved out the way so they could load her up into the gurney so they could give her some oxygen, and put gauze on her cuts to stop the bleeding the best they can until they can get to the hospital. Lanie decided not to get in the way; she learned her lesson the last time she was in the ambulance with Kate after she was shot, especially after she had gotten to the emergency room. They wouldn't even let her pass the swinging doors. She wanted to help, but she didn't want to get in the way.

The ambulance was already leaving by the time she snapped out of her thoughts and she rushed to her car and got in. The boys were already in their car and pulling out, following right behind the ambulance. As Kate got to the hospital she was rushed into the doors of the emergency room, and a tall doctor came running up and listening to the paramedics as one read off Kate's vitals, which were very low, and was also telling the doctor what condition she was in that Lanie had told them before leaving Kate's place. The doctor took over immediately and ordered blood to be given to her and also some saline to get her hydrated again.

Back in the waiting room, Castle was pacing back and forth up and down the waiting room space and Lanie and the boys were sitting quietly trying not to burst. Lanie was on the verge of crying she couldn't be going through this again. Ryan was watching Castle walk back and forth, it was the only thing that made him calm and Espo was doing his best consoling Lanie, which was not working. Then Castle stopped suddenly and asked, "has anyone called her dad?" The three blank faces looked directly at him and all said, "No," in unison. Castle then stared pacing again wondering what was taking so long to actually find out what was going on. He then took out his phone and stared at it like he was trying to decide if calling Kate's dad should be done by him because he was the one that pushed her away, the one who made her end up like this. Castle then decides he had to suck it up and do it anyway. Kate's dad had the right to know that she was in the hospital.

Hours passed and no one knew anything about Kate. They haven't seen a doctor and they even wouldn't tell them what was going on. When Kate's dad showed up he tried asking, but he also had gotten nothing. They were clueless about what was going on and they were getting very antsy. After a while the pacing that Castle had started eventually stopped and he just sat down in the uncomfortable chairs and just watched people come in and leave. The emergency waiting room was the most boring place he had ever seen and he had prayed the last time he was there that he would never have to come back. But, it turned out that prayer wasn't answered.

As midnight approached he couldn't stand it anymore, just sitting there without knowing would literally send him to the psych ward. He got up and marches over to the nurses' station which had new nurses starting their shift. "Good," he thought maybe he'll be able to get something out of them. When he got up to the nurses' station he froze he saw a woman who looked exactly like Kate. Her brown hair was glowing and her eyes were gleaming. Her smile was gorgeous just like Kate's. The nurse looked up from her chart and asked, "can I help you sir?" "Um, yes, I have been here for hours and I haven't heard anything about my friend and I was just wondering what was going on with her, if she's still….alive," he could barely get 'alive' out of his mouth. The nurse gave him a brief nod and started checking the charts. "What is her full name sir," the nurse asked. "Kate Beckett," Castle answered immediately, hoping she would give him something, or give him any news at this point. "Ok, I see she has been her for a while and the doctor was supposed to come and find the family to let them know," the nurse told him. "Well, we haven't even seen a doctor come out those doors," Castle informed the nurse. The nurse gave him a confused look, "OK, I'll go see what I can find out for you sir, but I still won't be able to tell you anything, there has to be a family member present for the doctor to actually inform you." "OK, that's fine, her dad is here, we just want to know what's going on," Castle asked? "Alright, I'll be right back sir," the nurse told castle and disappeared into the ER.

About five minutes later, the ER doctor that had treated Kate came walking out of the swinging doors with a solemn look on his face. Castle jump up before anybody else and watched as the doctor walked over with as much confidence he could muster. The four followed and Kate's dad stood in the front waiting for the doctor to tell him about his daughter. As Kate's doctor stepped up in front of everyone he held out his hand and introduced himself, "Hi, I'm doctor Michael Cullen and I'm the one that treated Kate, are you her father," he asked looking directly at Kate's dad? "Yes, I'm her father, how is she," Jim asked nervously scared to find out about Kate. "OK, good. I apologize it took me so long to come out here to inform you, I had another emergency that can into the hospital. But, Kate's doing fine right now, but I don't know how long she is going to stay this way. She's in ICU right now. She came in with major blood loss, she was dehydrated, malnourished and I also had to stich her up. I am wondering, all the gashes on her body were they done intentionally or by accident," the doctor informed everyone? Kate's dad, Jim, looked back to Castle, Lanie, Ryan, and Espo in which they all shrugged their shoulders because they didn't really know what actually happened. Jim looked back at the doctor and the doctor spoke again. "OK, I can tell you we will keep her here for a while before I release her. She is very weak and I would like to do a psych evaluation on her to make sure she is OK and not in any danger of harming herself"

Castle felt so bad at this point, if Kate did actually do this intentionally, he drove her to this, how could he do this. He really didn't think Kate would actually go this far too actually try and take her life, he couldn't believe it, he wanted to talk to her and ask her, but there was no way that was happening anytime soon. "Can we see her," Castle asked immediately coming out of his thoughts? "No, I'm sorry, visiting hours are over and she really needs to rest," the doctor said with much pleasantry as possible.

The doctor knew they were worried, but like always, his patients came first and that meant no visitations until morning.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the comments! So I wrote this chapter with some of you in mind, but I couldn't do everything just yet, but they will come. This chapter is still angst, but I promise it will get better for the two in the end. So don't give up on me just yet. Oh, and I finally mention in the chapter what the lie is and if it's not what you expected, I'm sorry. Oh, sorry for the errors!

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The next morning as the sun rose Castle sat up and stretched out his sore muscles. Sleeping in the hospital waiting room was not very comfortable, but Castle didn't complain because he refused to go home. He wanted to stay so he could see Kate and talk to her to find out what was going on. As Castle stood up from the chairs he looked around to see where the others were and only seen Kate's dad. Jim was still asleep, it was still early and Castle didn't want to disturb him. Getting up, he went up to the nurses' station and asked if he could see Kate. The nurse standing behind the desk had looked up and gave him a slight smile. "I'm sorry sir, but visiting hours don't start for another two hours." Castle looked hurt because he had waited long enough; he even slept in the damn waiting room so he could get up and see Kate. It was his fault that he woke up early. He didn't even know how Jim was even still sleeping. "OK, thank you, I guess I'll go sit back down and wait again," Castle said with a very hurtful tone. Castle started walking off back to the chair he was in before. Before he had gotten a chance to sit down he heard the nurse call him back over to the nurses' station. "Sir, I know you have been here awhile so I'm going to make an exception for you, and for you only, but don't let anyone know, OK," the nurse said. Castle smiled and said, "thank you, thank you so much."

The nurse had told Castle to follow her and he had no problem listening to that command. He jumped up off the chair so fast he stumbled over his feet. Getting his balance back he scurried after the nurse to catch up with her. She walked him to the elevator and pressed the button to call the elevator down to the first floor. After a few seconds of waiting the doors open and the nurse stepped in and Castle followed. The nurse turned towards Castle and said, "I'm Nurse Cathy by the way, and Kate was moved up to the fourth floor last night. So far she's coming around, she woke up a couple times last night, but we gave her a sedative to help her sleep, she was becoming a little restless. I'm guessing she doesn't like hospitals very much?" Castle smiled and spoke, "no, she actually hates them from the last time she was here, it's not too much of a fond memory."

Riding up to the fourth floor was an everlasting wait that made Castle feel like it took eternity to get there. When the doors opened the nurse was the first one to step out and then Castle. Nurse Cathy walked all the way down the hall to the second to last room which was pretty far from the fourth floor nurses' station. She stopped by Kate's room and waited for Castle to reach the door. She smiled and told him, "it's a good thing her room is far from the nurses' station or I would have not been able to sneak you up here. Just be quite and you should be OK." Castle smiled and gave and head shake and said, "thank you," again and watched her walk off.

Castle slowly opened the door to make sure a loud noise wasn't going to appear. If Kate was still asleep he did not want to wake her up. Before taking a step into her room he pulled his phone out of his pocket and seen he had a text. He was pulling his phone out to make sure it was on silent. Unlocking his phone he read the text from Lanie, "Sorry were not there, we had to leave, the boys and I caught a case. When you see her let us know how she is doing." He exited out of his messages and checked the silent option on his phone and walked into the room.

Walking into the room he saw Kate lying down with the head of the bed slightly raised. Her eyes were closed, but when he sat down in the chair right by her bed, Kate's eyes flew open. Castle's emotions were still everywhere and he was still having problems seeing her this way. When Kate opened her eyes and saw him she smiled and Castle saw a tear start falling down her cheek. Seeing the tear he scooted closer and was about to wipe it away, but stopped himself. He didn't want to touch her just yet.

Kate opened her mouth to say something, but couldn't get the words out; she tried a few times before the word "Castle" came out in a raspy voice. He looked at her and he could see the hurt in her eyes and how distraught she was. It took all his strength not to get up and walk out of the room since now he knows she is OK.

"Kate, why," Castle asked? Silent swept over the room and no response came from Kate, she was just staring at him. "Did you do this to yourself or was it an accident, "Castle asked her? Still Kate didn't answer. "Kate, this is serious, the doctor thinks you did this on purpose, he wants to get you evaluated by a psychiatrist. Talk to me say something," Castle talked again.

Kate response was not what he was expecting at all, "I needed you, you wanted nothing to do with me, I needed to get your attention. But, it's…. it's not what you think." Kate looked down at her body, which she was referring to all the lacerations upon her. Kate then looked back up at Castle and finished talking, "I was walking into the bathroom room and I was too weak to barely even put wait on my feet, I started to fall and fell into the mirror. I guess the force of my fall shattered the glass; it broke and couldn't do anything. I felt it when the glass hit me, it hurt so badly and I was bleeding everywhere, I could stop it. I thought the water of the shower might help stop it, but I don't really remember what happened after that.

"OK, well it makes me feel so much better that it was an accident and you didn't do this to yourself on purpose," Castle said in a somewhat sincere voice.

Kate then tried to grab Castle's hand, but Castle pulled back. "Castle, I'm sorry, whatever I did to you, I'm so sorry," Kate said pleadingly.

Castles anger flared at this point, "how can you not know what you did Kate, you lied directly to my face."

Kate froze for a second trying to think about what he was talking about, but she stayed clueless. "I have no idea what you talking about Castle, what lie?" Kate was a little defensive.

It was the biggest lie that she had ever told him, how can she not know what he's talking about? It all started off with Kate being at Castle's place, both sitting on the couch. Castle was becoming really antsy and couldn't keep the secret in any more so he told Kate how he felt. He told her he was in love with her. Kate looked at him and smiled and laid her head on his shoulder.

She replied back with" I love u too, I always have."

They sat there few moments longer in silence and Castle asked, "what are we going to do."

Kate was confused about the question; she didn't understand what he was asking. "What do you mean," Kate asked?

"I want to be with you Kate," Castle said.

"I'm with josh, you know that," Kate replied.

"You just said you loved me," Castle asked because now he was the one confused.

"I do," Kate said.

Kate still saw the hurt on his face and she couldn't see him like that so she just told him what he wanted to hear, that she would break up with josh so they could be together. Few days later, Kate and Castle had gotten separated, and Kate went to the morgue to find Lanie with a body, and Castle stayed with the boys to follow up on a quick lead that didn't go anywhere. The boys' dropped Castle off at the morgue, he went in and heard Kate and Lanie talking, but didn't want to intrude, it sounded important. He was walking away when he heard his name. He heard Lanie saying excitedly, "are you serious, Castle told you he loved you, well about time!"

Kate then responded, "Lanie! This is not good, I told him…. I told him I loved him to and that I was leaving Josh."

Lanie then came back and responded, "really, you told him you loved him back, I didn't expect that. You're leaving josh, seriously?"

Kate frowned and said, "No, I'm not leaving josh, yes, I love Castle, but to tell you the truth, I don't know what I really want."

Now Lanie had a confused face and asked, "So you told writer boy you're leaving Josh for him, and you're not?"

Kate responded, "yeah, well, I saw his face and I don't like seeing him hurt, he means to much to me."

Lanie huffed and said, "so you decided to lie to him instead and break his heart even more?"

Kate was not too pleased with Lanie's answer and told her, " he's not going to find out any time soon, I'll just tell him that I haven't got a chance to see Josh, that he's been pulling doubles at the hospital because their down a doctor."

Castle felt his heart break in two pieces. He went back to the precinct to help finish up with the case and waited till Kate came back. He never showed any emotion towards her and what he just found out. Kate is still clueless that Castle knows the truth. After the case, Kate was stuck with paper work and Castle got up and left. After he had gotten down to the street he sent the text message to the boys.

Castle told Kate that he overheard her telling Lanie that she was not breaking up with Josh. "You lied to me Kate; how you can tell me you're in love with me and just throw it back in my face. If you didn't feel the same way you could have just said so," Castle said angrily.

Kate slumped down in her bed and put her head back and looked up at the ceiling. "I didn't lie to you about being in love with you Castle. That is the truth, I do love you, so very much, and I felt like you just threw it at me and expected me to handle it right then and there, but you know me, you know I'm not like that, I'm not that kind of girl. I needed time and when I saw how hurt you were I just told you what you wanted to hear."

Castle's anger never subsided, it just got worse. "I'm your best friend if you couldn't trust me enough or feel comfortable enough around me to tell me the truth, then obviously we weren't that close."

Castle was so mad he didn't want to deal with it anymore so he got up and started walking out, all he heard was crying begging, and pleading for him stay. Castle ignored her pleas and opened the door and started walking out when he ran into Jim. He stopped before running into him and gave a slight smile and took a step around him to leave until he felt a hand around his wrist. Jim heard his daughter crying and pleading for Castle to stay.

Jim looked Castle in the face and asked, "what's going on, why is my daughter upset?"

Castle looked down at the ground, it was hard for to look Jim in the face. "Were not on good terms right now" he told Jim, as he walked out of the room, never looking back.

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If you have any ideas on how you might want me to put them together let me know and I'll see what I can do. I hope this chapter wasn't that bad for you all to read. I hope you liked it!


	9. Chapter 9

Ok everyone I know it's been forever and I am so sorry. I apologize right now for taking so long. I'm in nursing school and I'm constantly working and reading a few chapters a night for my classes and everything is hectic. I thank everyone who left comments and I tried to put some of your ideas in this story. I will truthfully say I forgot about this story. So thank you KB4RC for reminding me about it. Since it's been awhile since I last posted I put some of the last chapter in this chapter starting at the lie. I also apologize for the grammar mistakes if you catch any. I am so sleep deprived right now it was hard to catch all of them. Sorry again for the wait.

So all in all I hope you all like it and I hope I didn't disappoint any of you.

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It all started off with Kate being at Castle's place, both sitting on the couch. Castle was becoming really antsy and couldn't keep the secret in any more so he told Kate how he felt. He told her he was in love with her. Kate looked at him and smiled and laid her head on his shoulder.

She replied back with" I love u too, I always have."

They sat there few moments longer in silence and Castle asked, "what are we going to do."

Kate was confused about the question; she didn't understand what he was asking. "What do you mean," Kate asked?

"I want to be with you Kate," Castle said.

"I'm with josh, you know that," Kate replied.

"You just said you loved me," Castle asked because now he was the one confused.

"I do," Kate said.

Kate still saw the hurt on his face and she couldn't see him like that so she just told him what he wanted to hear, that she would break up with josh so they could be together. Few days later, Kate and Castle had gotten separated, and Kate went to the morgue to find Lanie with a body, and Castle stayed with the boys to follow up on a quick lead that didn't go anywhere. The boys' dropped Castle off at the morgue, he went in and heard Kate and Lanie talking, but didn't want to intrude, it sounded important. He was walking away when he heard his name. He heard Lanie saying excitedly, "are you serious, Castle told you he loved you, well about time!"

Kate then responded, "Lanie! This is not good, I told him…. I told him I loved him to and that I was leaving Josh."

Lanie then came back and responded, "really, you told him you loved him back, I didn't expect that. You're leaving josh, seriously?"

Kate frowned and said, "No, I'm not leaving josh, yes, I love Castle, but to tell you the truth, I don't know what I really want."

Now Lanie had a confused face and asked, "So you told writer boy you're leaving Josh for him, and you're not?"

Kate responded, "yeah, well, I saw his face and I don't like seeing him hurt, he means to much to me."

Lanie huffed and said, "so you decided to lie to him instead and break his heart even more?"

Kate was not too pleased with Lanie's answer and told her, " he's not going to find out any time soon, I'll just tell him that I haven't got a chance to see Josh, that he's been pulling doubles at the hospital because their down a doctor."

Castle felt his heart break in two pieces. He went back to the precinct to help finish up with the case and waited till Kate came back. He never showed any emotion towards her and what he just found out. Kate is still clueless that Castle knows the truth. After the case, Kate was stuck with paper work and Castle got up and left. After he had gotten down to the street he sent the text message to the boys.

Castle told Kate that he overheard her telling Lanie that she was not breaking up with Josh. "You lied to me Kate; how you can tell me you're in love with me and just throw it back in my face. If you didn't feel the same way you could have just said so," Castle said angrily.

Kate slumped down in her bed and put her head back and looked up at the ceiling. "I didn't lie to you about being in love with you Castle. That is the truth, I do love you, so very much, and I felt like you just threw it at me and expected me to handle it right then and there, but you know me, you know I'm not like that, I'm not that kind of girl. I needed time and when I saw how hurt you were I just told you what you wanted to hear."

Castle's anger never subsided, it just got worse. "I'm your best friend if you couldn't trust me enough or feel comfortable enough around me to tell me the truth, then obviously we weren't that close."

Castle was so mad he didn't want to deal with it anymore so he got up and started walking out, all he heard was crying begging, and pleading for him stay. Castle ignored her pleas and opened the door and started walking out when he ran into Jim. He stopped before running into him and gave a slight smile and took a step around him to leave until he felt a hand around his wrist. Jim heard his daughter crying and pleading for Castle to stay.

Jim looked Castle in the face and asked, "what's going on, why is my daughter upset?"

Castle looked down at the ground; it was hard to look Jim in the face. "Were not on good terms right now" he told Jim, as he walked out of the room, never looking back.

Kate was eventually released from the hospital in good health and went straight home. Weeks passed and she tried to get in contact, but she knew he wasn't going to answer especially how they parted. Castle had blocked her number and wanted no contact with her. He was moving on with his life and didn't want to think about Kate. Kate was sitting at home in her quite apartment and she hasn't seen the boys or Lanie in a while. She was pretty sure they were mad at her too. She was disappointing everyone and she was finally coming to the conclusion that this was her fought and everything sooner or later would come back and haunt her.

She broke up with Josh a week after she left the hospital and really didn't give him a reason. She just wanted Castle back in her life and she knew that was never going to happen with Josh being in her life. She knew from the beginning that she wanted Castle more than anything, but it took her losing him first to realizing that she couldn't live without him. It was easy for her when he was just there in the precinct and them hanging out after work. They were friends and she knew she was in love with him, but as long as he was there, in her life, a relationship was not needed, at least not then. With Castle being gone and everything that she went through and him not being in her life she would drop everything just to get a hug from him.

Finally picking herself up off her couch, she told herself she is stronger than what she has been lately. She was not going to be weak anymore; she was going to get Castle back one way or the other. Grabbing her coat off the coat hanger in her closet she took her keys and walked out her apartment door. Walking down the hall to her elevator made her feel like it was a new building she just moved into. She really hasn't been outside of her apartment not since she came back from the hospital. Her dad was the one that came by and brought food and when he was busy, she ordered out. Finally making it to the elevator she pressed the down button and waited for the doors to open. When she stepped inside she pressed the first floor button and waited impatiently to get down to the first floor. When the doors opened she stepped out not wasting any time and went straight to her car. She was lucky she still had her police unit especially since she hasn't worked in over a month. The captain let her keep it with knowing that Detective Kate Beckett was coming back to the precinct.

When Kate was in her car she put the keys in the ignition and started the car and checked the street for any oncoming vehicles then pulled out of the spot her car was parked in. Her car wasn't far since she hasn't moved it in a while; it was right next to her building. Usually when she comes home from the precinct she can never find a parking spot right next to the door. She usually parks at least a block over since she got off late most nights.

Driving down the her street her mind went wondering to Castle trying to figure out what she was going to say to him. She wasn't paying attention to the road and all of a sudden she heard a loud car horn blaring off in the distance. She realized she almost caused an accident. That's all she really needed was to cause even more trouble.

Keeping her eyes and mind on the road she made it across town to Castle's place and found parking spot right down the street. Turning off her car, she gets out and walks up to the entrance running in to his door man. "Ms. Beckett, it's been a while, glad to see you back." Frank, the doorman said, to Kate. Kate gave a slight smile and said, "thanks," walking right passed him and went to the elevator. While in the elevator, her mind started wondering again, and when the doors dinged open she snapped out of her thoughts and walked out of the elevator and walked straight towards his Castle's door.

Kate raised her hand to his door and stopped. She hesitated for a brief second and then her fist landed loudly on the door rapping a few times. She waited quietly, praying Castle would be home and that he would answer the door. Kate heard a voice coming from the other side of the door, then the door was open and she was staring at him, whose smile went straight to a frown when his eyes landed on her. Before she could say a word the door was closing in her face. She put her hand out to stop the door from closing and yelled, "No."

Kate stepped closer to the door and spoke again, "please, Rick, just give me a secant I really need to talk to you, please…please Rick," her eyes were starting to water. Castle saw the hurt, sadness, regret in her eyes so he opened the door to her, and let her inside.

Kate walked right passed him and stood a few feet away from the inside of his loft. She stayed silent until Castle turned around and was facing her. Castle stayed in the spot he was in, he didn't even move toward her. He was thinking about moving further into his loft, but decided to stay in his spot.

"Kate, what do you want, why are you here," Castle asked looking straight at her. By this point Kate was shifting back and forth on her feet. She was really nervous and she was praying she could get Castle back. Kate looked down at her feet and took in a big breathe. Kate looked up and her eyes landed directly on his. Without hesitation Kate said, "I came here to apologize and say I'm sorry. I know I screwed up, I know I hurt you, and I know I broke your heart, and I know you can't trust me right now, but I do love you, and I want you back. Please Rick, please give me another chance. I just want you, your all I want, please… just give me a chance to show you. I'll do anything to prove it to you….. anything." Kate was pleading to Castle at this point, but all that was going through his head right now was that he couldn't believe that she would actually come to his place and ask him to forgive her. Castle cut her off before she even finished talking, "Kate.." Castle voice rose to get her to stop talking. When he called her name, Kate went quite. "What," Kate asked? Castle couldn't do it anymore; he couldn't just stand here in the same room with her anymore. How could she just come here, and just apologize, and believe that's all it took to make everything better. Apologizing was not doing anything; he was not going to forgive her just because she feels sorry for what she did.

"Kate…. Please just be quite. I don't want to hear it anymore. Just stop talking, ok, just stop….. I don't care how sorry you are, I don't care if you apologize a millions times. It's not going to be that easy for me to just forgive you. Kate we are done, you gave me up a long time ago and you're not getting me back.

Kate's eyes were feeling up with tears and she couldn't help her reaction to his words. Kate just broke down right in front him without even caring if she was showing how weak she was. "Rick, please… I don't know what else to do I love you so much, you are my best friend and you always will be. You mean everything, I can't live without you, and I need you in my life. I really didn't know how much I loved you until I lost you. Rick…. You are my life… my world." Kate was wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt, the tears were coming down fast and she couldn't stop them. " Please Rick….. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want… I want us to get married, to have a family, to grow old together. I want you to hold me at night and wake up still being in your arms, I want you to make love to me, I want you to look me in the eyes the way you use to, I want you to talk to my belly when 8 months pregnant with our child telling he or she that they need to come out already because you can't wait to see him or her and because I'm driving you crazy with my hormones. I want to snuggle into your arms and have a movie night together, I want… I want us to be happy, for us to be… to be best friends again, where you can trust me like you…like you use to, I want us to talk about everything and anything. I just want you to let me love you Rick," Kate finally stopped talking and looked down at the ground.

Silence filled the room and it stayed quite for a few minutes. When Castle didn't speak she picked up her head to look at his face and he was just staring at her. "Rick," Kate said, taking a step towards him. Castle didn't move he just kept looking at her. Kate took another step towards him and then another. Kate was then standing no more than a foot in front of him. Castle still didn't move he never took his eyes off of her and her eyes never left his. Kate was still crying, but not as hard and she was before.

She was sniffling, and could feel her nose running and she knew her face was all red and puffy. Kate then spoke again, "Rick," she said her voice barely above a whisper. "Rick," saying his name again was more of a question. Castle was still staring at her more in shock of what she had said earlier about everything she wanted with him because secretly he wanted those things to, but honestly could he forgive her after everything she did to him.

With Castle not moving Kate took her chance and leaned forward and her lips landed slowly on his. Castle watched her move closer to him, but he couldn't make himself move. Having a family with her was running through his head now, did Kate really want to have kids with him. He remembered her saying before when they first met that she never wanted kids and now she's saying she does. Because Castle didn't move when Kate's lips touched his she depend the kiss.

After their first kiss Kate moved back to look at him. Kate saw the look on his face; she knew he was thinking about something. "Rick," Kate asked, "what are you thinking?" Rick bit his tongue and then came out and said, "you said you wanted a family with me ….. you said when we first met you never want children Kate, why did you change your mind?" Kate didn't hesitate for even a second. She knew the answer to the question and didn't even have to think about her response.

"Rick, I love you so much, and yeah, before I didn't want children, but now, now I look at you, and I know I want to have children with you because I love you so much, and I want to do something with that love. I want something that's apart of both of us and having a family with you means that more than anything I have actually accomplished something in life and being a mom to our children….

She was cut off by Castle's lips landing on hers and his hands coming up and running through her hair. Kate didn't waist anytime responding in kind to the kiss. When Rick pulled back, Kate responded with a slight smile and a tear running down her left cheek. "I love you…. I love you so much Rick" Kate says softly and Rick responds softly with an "I love you too, Kate," then goes in for another soft kiss.

The End!


End file.
